Monday 15 August 2011
Someone asked me the other day how I felt when I received the life shattering news that I had been diagnosed with MS, so I thought I’d share my thoughts and feelings so for those of you who are newly diagnosed know that you’re not alone even though you may feel like it, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Now I’m not a doctor nor am I claiming to be any sort of expert this is purely my feeling and thoughts after I felt my life had been turned upside down!
My first major attack occurred when my daughter was approximately 18 months old. I wasn’t exactly sure what was happening to me at first I can only describe it as a very strange sensation in my right arm. Now any may think my reaction was a little odd in that for some strange reason I couldn’t stop laughing about it. I went to see my GP expecting him to say it was some sort of trapped nerve, here’s some tablets and see how you go! To my horror after a couple of simple reflex tests he told me that he suspected I’d had a stroke and to go straight to A&E at my local hospital. The simple thought that I’d had something a serious as a stroke at the age of 25 was incomprehensible. I spent 4 days in hospital undergoing numerous tests, MRI scans etc. By this stage I had lost the full use of my right arm. It was as dead as a dodo! The consultant confirmed that I definitely hadn’t had a stroke but she had her suspicions as to what was causing the lack of movement in my arm. When I pressed her to answer what she thought it was she advised me that I had a large area of inflammation of the nerve fibres in my brain, something which was more commonly known as Multiple Sclerosis. I just burst into tears, to this day I have no idea why as at that stage I had absolutely no idea what MS was. I’d heard of it, I’d never met anyone that had it before; I had no idea what it meant for me! All I could think about was why was this happening to me?
The consultant had advised me that there was plenty of information around about MS and I would be referred to a dedicated MS nurse who would be there to give me any information I needed and I could call if I had any questions. She advised me not to look on the internet as I would probably scare myself.
I remember for weeks I used to sit at home and cry, frustrated by the fact I could no longer do simple things like dry my hair or fill a pan with water to cook tea. I tried to teach my then fiancé how to blow dry my hair thinking that any sort of style would be better than nothing. He tried his hardest but I think he found it hard to deal with. I used to just sit and cry in front of the mirror. I felt like I had become this completely different person over night because my body wasn’t doing the things I wanted it to. I didn’t want to be this other person any more I wanted to be me! I didn’t want this damaged body I wanted my fully functional one back.
It took a while to get over the tears and frustration, and with a lot of support from my family, I became determined not to let my dysfunctional body stop me continuing my life. I lived with constant worry that my fate lay in the arms of a wheel chair. Someone told me not to let MS take control of your life but for me to take control of my MS. Since then I have tried to live my life as normal as possible. Although I think in some respects I have let it take control of my life in that I probably would have had another child by now, but because of the uncertainty of the disease and medication I have put off having any more children till now. I have now decided to take the bull by the horns and get on with my life! I refuse to let this disease control any part of my life anymore!
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Forgive me if I’m wrong in questioning myself maybe I’ve completely lost touch in the last 6 years but I need some help!
I have a friend who has a two year old daughter. Her daughter was born 2 months premature. Now as my daughter was full term obviously I have no experience on this front. Reading other peoples stories and experiences my friend seemed to have got away quite lightly. Although it was unfortunate and Lucy was in hospital for some time before she was allowed home, when she was discharged there was nothing physically wrong with Lucy she was in good health. Over the last two years she has undergone regular check-ups at the hospital and every time they have been very pleased with her development and progress, so much so she was discharged 6 months earlier than expected.
Now since her birth my friend has wrapped her up in cotton wool, which to be honest I’m sure I probably would have done if it had been my child. As her daughter was born 2 months premature, when she reached her first birthday she was still treated as if she was only 10 months old not 12.
After meeting my friend for lunch the other day and I came away not quite sure what to think. Now Lucy is two she is still sleeping at least 14 hours a day some days more! Most days she goes to bed at 4:30pm and doesn’t wake up till the next morning. She’s still so tired she has a morning sleep around 10:00am and then another after lunch.
Something else that concerned me was the fact she was given a jar of baby food for 4months+! Am I right in thinking there is something wrong here?! Surely a two year old should be eating proper food now. Surely she won’t be getting the nutrients she requires as an active two year old from a jar of stage 1 baby food.
I have wondered about her sleeping habits for some time now, now I’m wondering is there a reason for the tiredness?!
After all it is some 6 years since I had my daughter but I do have other friends with children of similar ages and their routine etc. is completely different.
Can feeding a 2 year old baby food like that do them any harm?
Saturday 6 August 2011
There's no hope for me is there?!
I'm absolutely exhausted today for some reason, I thought you were supposed to get your energy back during the 2nd trimester of pregnancy?! Then again I never had much energy before I was pregnant in the first place.
Some days I'm mentally and physicall exhausted with my MS yet I haven't really felt like that during my first trimester with this pregnancy. Maybe I hadn't noticed it as much because I'm so used to feeling exhausted all the time that I've just got used to it after so many years.
I think I might sneak off to bed with a hot chocolate I'm sure these two zombies wont noticed!
Friday 5 August 2011
I’m not sure whether your one of those people that like me likes having their feet massaged or even tickled (to an extent) maybe your one of those that can’t stand even the thought of someone touching your feet (like my husband) anyway I’m not sure if it’s the heat or just the fact I’m putting on a bit of weight (therefore putting a tiny bit more pressure on my feet at the moment) but by the end of the day my feet are killing me! Hubby’s foot rubs just aren’t quite cutting it! I’ve been contemplating booking myself in for a pedicure for the last week or so now but I had a leaflet put through my door last night about one of these new Dr Fish Spa places. Now I’m certainly not keen on the idea of letting a fish chew dead skin off my feet in fact I couldn’t really think of anything worse, but the way my feet are at the moment I’d do anything for some relief! I just can’t see that these things can possibly give you any pleasure or is it just me?!So I just wondered if anyone has tried it and actually enjoyed the experience?! Is it actually any better than a pedicure? Comments would be greatly appreciated!
Thursday 4 August 2011
Seeing as its some 7 years since I was pregnant and my mind isn’t exactly functioning to its full potential, well I’m sure any pregnant woman will agree your brain seems to turn to mush! I can’t remember what I said nor did 30 minutes ago let alone 7 years ago! Most people seem to say they recognise movements earlier on their second pregnancy so I’m not 100% sure if this tickle/rumble is just sheer hunger as I seem to be starving ALL the time! Or it’s the little fella swimming around. As I’m now roughly 16 weeks pregnant I would have thought I would soon be starting to feel something soon.
Friday 29 July 2011
Julia rang as promised and she was very pleased to say that everything looks absolutely fine! Julia said that just going off my age my risks were 1 in 900 which were pretty good to start with but after all the tests the result have come back as 1 in 18,000! This is fantastic! So far so good we will have to wait for the next scan to be sure that everything is developing as it should. It’s a bit like having a carrot dangled things are ok so far but we’ve just got to wait that little bit longer till the next scan to get more answers! I’m sure when it comes to the next one they’ll move the goal posts again and I’ll have to wait for something else (probably till baby pops out and we can all see for ourselves!)